You work out of a Hotel?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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