Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
