Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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