3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
