I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need to sanitize my soul.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
