Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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