White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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