Whod you bang
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i will never coherently bang her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
