There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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