all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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