I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
