Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My balls are so social today.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
