remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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