Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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