just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
