There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
