Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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