It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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