you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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