My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
