I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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