Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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