She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
