he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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