Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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