TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
