everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
