would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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