is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
