I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
