Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
