i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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