all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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