can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
