You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
