yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
