it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
