He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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