Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
