fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
