I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
