im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
