I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I party with great urgency now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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