I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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