so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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