She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize