I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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