If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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