I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We are two peas in an std pod
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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