I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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