It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
