K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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