somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
