Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
