i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
