And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
