I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
