is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize