Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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