Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
