Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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