Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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