Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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