dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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